resolutions

A year ago the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve felt never-ending. This week has been so busy I’ve barely had time to remember we celebrated Christmas as all. In all the rush there hasn’t been time for me to think about, ponder and dwell on the significance of this week, of my thoughts, hopes and wishes for 2012, the year of the dragon.

Rushing around can have a way of making one feel as though they are moving rapidly and productively toward a goal. It can also have the opposite effect. It can make me feel as though life is running away with me, taking with it the laughter and smiles I was supposed to give and receive, with the contentment I was supposed to feel, with the purpose I thought I spent a long time searching for, discovering and creating.

It’s not to say I am discontented with my life. I know full well that I have freely chosen the life I currently lead, without undue influence or pressure. But it sometimes makes me worried that my whole life will be like this, choosing a worthy goal and quickly tiring of it as the charm wears off, losing heart that my goal had any worth at all and struggling, almost constantly it feels, to stay on task and maintain a good attitude.

But in my heart I know that’s not what life is. True understanding of one’s purpose, a lifestyle of work and play that brings fulfillment, is possible. But I’m young! There’s still so much of the world for me to see and experience. I hardly think it would be normal, let alone healthy, for someone my age to have a clear understanding of his or her lifestyle in terms of the long term.

Even though I have experienced parts of my life that are discouraging or disheartening I realize the importance of a good attitude and humor in all aspects of one’s life. Neither of these are sustainable if they’re superficial. They must be heart-deep.

May the year ahead will be as full of adventure and new experiences as last. May the days ahead hold as much meaning and wonder as the days I spent exploring Europe. May I not take my blessings for granted. May I live my life with purpose and deliberateness. May the noise in my head not drown out the quiet in my heart.

May this New Year bring new blessings, new wonders and renewed hope to you all.

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Accept the place the divine providence has found for you, the society of your contemporaries, the connection of events. Great men have always done so, and confided themselves childlike to the genius of their age, betraying their perception that the Eternal was stirring at their heart, working through their hands, predominating in all their being. And we are now men, and must accept in the highest mind the same transcendent destiny; and not pinched in a corner, not cowards fleeing before a revolution, but redeemers and benefactors, pious aspirants to be noble clay under the Almighty effort let us advance on Chaos and the Dark.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson